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Yngwie J. Malmsteen: Magnum opus

08/04/11  ||  Daemonomania

Excerpts from a week of Yngwie’s personal diary, taken from the time “Magnum opus” was in the process of being recorded.

Monday: Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and remembered I was Yngwie. Today is going to be a good day.

Tuesday: Recording sessions begin tomorrow for my next album. I have yet to come up with a title, but it has to be something grand. Something inspiring. Something that says to the uninformed, “I’ve never been graced by the godlike guitar skills of that smoke-haloed mythman before, but THIS is the album that I’m going to buy to see what my poor, pathetic self has been missing.” Neoclassical Shredbath? Fuck with the Duck and You’re Out of Luck? Ferrari in C Minor? I Often C Minors in the Nude? Fender Bender? There are many options.

Wednesday: Once again Michael Vescera will be singing. He impressed me greatly on “The seventh sign”, though I fear that the acclaim may be swelling his ego to a dangerous degree. This is not Yngwie Malmsteen and Mike Vescera’s Rising Force, is it? No. There can be only one. Next thing you know the band name would start looking like a law firm, and before long they would all want their faces on each album cover. My audience wishes to see ME standing next to a sword, peering from between pieces of old wood, fighting a two-headed dragon – not you.

Also returning is Mats Olausson on the keyboards, but he is no threat. His small Hammond organ makes him a laughing stock in the neoclassical metal world. The previous drummer had the nerve to request an extra portion of sushi during our tour of Japan, and I quickly fired him. A man with at least 15 a’s in his last name will fulfill his role. The ridiculous surname precludes any chance of stardom, I am sure. There is also some UFO bassist on board. I could of course play the bass perfectly (and any other stringed instrument from any era or parallel reality you could throw at me), but not having to worry about plucking away at this lowly version of a guitar frees my mind to solo as I have never soloed before.

Thursday: I am just now writing the lyrics. Since this release will be my magnum opus (idea!) the words must too reflect a higher standard than any that have come before. Here’s what I have so far for “Fire in the sky”:

Some say I’ve been had, and that’s too bad
I know they’re wrong
Some say I’ve gone mad, and that’s too sad
I’m much too strong

It is with great humility that I admit these lyrics are spectacular.

Friday: Vescera is as good as gone once we’re done in the studio. His performances on “Tomorrow’s gone”, “Cross the line”, and “No love lost” are each incredible. Too incredible. Also, I noticed that a number of my hair products are a little “light” (the exact weights of my shampoo and conditioner bottles remain unchanged, but the cunning American could have used water to replace what he had stolen). Might be time to take him out on one of my famous Ferrari rides. I’ll carefully choose a vehicle that doesn’t have passenger-side airbags. Once I said that upon Hendrix’s death Yngwie was born. Well, upon Michael’s unfortunate accident Yngwie shall be free.

Saturday: The rest of the musicians had best catch up. Since every moment of every masterpiece throughout my career existed in my mind since birth, I was able to lay down the guitar tracks in a matter of hours. Poor Gaalaas is having a devil of a time keeping up, and has no real notion of how to play a decent triangle solo. I find myself missing Terrana. Then I remember the sushi.

Also to note – a strange but relatively frequent occurrence. As I played the last breathtaking moments of instrumental “Overture 1622”, the earthbound spirits of Bach and Beethoven materialized to applaud furiously. I accepted their ghostly cheers with as much humility as possible.

Sunday: I cannot escape the feeling that “Magnum opus” is not as good as “Seventh sign”. While some immortal songs have yet again been bequeathed from the soul of Malmsteen to the music-consuming public to dwell in their hearts for all time, the levels of quality seem lower. The ballads don’t pluck the heart strings as deftly. The fast paced rockers don’t have as much aggression. “Voodoo” is a trifle held together only by my hard-hitting shreds, and “Time will tell” is clearly a second-rate version of “Pyramid of Cheops”. Perhaps I should have waited more than a year between albums?

It is at moments like these – when all seems lost – that I must remind myself of a sacred, immutable fact. I am Yngwie. Only then can I pick up my white Fender/The Duck/a sitar and let my fingers fly across the frets, calling forth the notes that will ring down through the ages. Ahh, that’s better.

7,5

  • Information
  • Released: 1995
  • Label: Pony Canyon
  • Website: www.yngwiemalmsteen.com
  • Band
  • Yngwie J. Malmsteen: guitars, everything else, divine inspiration
  • Michael Vescera: vocals
  • Mats Olausson: keyboards, small(er) Hammond organ, vocals
  • Barry Sparks: bass
  • Shane Gaalaas: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Vengeance
  • 02. No Love Lost
  • 03. Tomorrow’s Gone
  • 04. The Only One
  • 05. I’d Die Without You
  • 06. Overture 1622
  • 07. Voodoo
  • 08. Cross the Line
  • 09. Time Will Tell
  • 10. Fire in the Sky
  • 11. Amberdawn
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